RED HERRING RUN!

Finally it’s here! Get to your local waterway to watch the election year run of the Great Red Herring. They are making their way out of New Jersey right now, heading to Iowa and Virginia, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, and Missouri and other areas of the country where voters are less concerned about their civic and economic interests, and more worried about feeling icky.

The red herring run is happening late this season. While many expected daily sex scandals and a botched war in Iraq to keep the herring in hibernation, eager Republicans continued a vigil, watching closely for any sign of the run, knowing it to be an ancient omen of electoral victory.

A recent decision of the New Jersey Supreme Court that granted equal legal rights and financial benefits to both homo- and heterosexual couples spurned the red herring into action.

The New York Times' Sheryl GAY Stolberg reports that President Bush was in Iowa yesterday to welcome the Great Red Herring with House Candidate Jeff Lamberti, saying:

“Yesterday in New Jersey, we had another activist court issue a ruling that raises doubts about the institution of marriage,” Mr. Bush said at a luncheon at the Iowa State Fairgrounds that raised $400,000 for Mr. Lamberti.

The president drew applause when he reiterated his long-held stance that marriage was “a union between a man and a woman,” adding, “I believe it’s a sacred institution that is critical to the health of our society and the well-being of families, and it must be defended.”

In Virginia, where George Allen and his Keystone Klan campaign have soured voters’ feelings on the California cowboy, the herring will be running at an amazing rate, drawn to the stench of a ballot initiative to ban gay marriage and dwindling Republican polling.

It’s an issue that’s going to play a big role in the next 12 days,” Mr. Allen’s campaign manager, Dick Wadhams, said in an interview.

Can’t wait, dick!

In better news, there was a wonderful profile on Deval Patrick in the Washington Post this week.